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Before we talk through the warning signs for anxiety and depression, let’s begin with a mental health landscape—an important frame for us to work with in this blog post.
The mental health care conversation has sometimes—even if unintentionally—privileged the narrative that appropriate mental, physiological, or spiritual responses to brokens systems is ‘disordered’ on an individual level. What does this mean? It often means that we feel something is wrong with us—that we need medication, treatment, or a diagnosis—for not being able to ‘manage well enough’ to remain functional and productive across all walks of life. Further, we’re offered a myriad of resources via the self-care industry and mental health care systems to ‘cope’ with systems that never seem to change.
A well-shared quote, from Jiddu Krishnamurti, emphasizes this: “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.”
Overall, the critical warning sign for anxiety and depression is persistence over time, namely of: behaviour changes, mood swings, irritability, extreme emotional reactions or outbursts, physical complaints without clear medical causes, changes in sleep or appetite, and avoidance or isolation.
But it’s always important to look at these closely, a few layers deeper: the difference between withdrawal due to lethargy or lack of interest in connection versus avoidance due to fear. Sleeping too much or too little due to a longing to escape versus trouble falling and staying asleep due to worry. Eating more or less than usual as a balm versus due to stomach aches. The former tends to signify depression, while the latter tends toward anxiety.
It’s vital that support is sought if you notice and recognize these warning signs. And, in the same vein, be mindful of the frame we’ve introduced: persistence of these warning signs over time is not necessarily ‘disordered.’ It may very well be the mind, body, and spirit’s appropriate response—perhaps even a wise one that knows something is wrong.
When speaking about suicide, Tumi Moloto says in an Instagram video, “The more that we pathologize this impulse and make ourselves or other people wrong for experiencing it, the more that we miss the wisdom of what is being communicated to us. [...] It is not surprising that in a hyper-individualist world and culture, we think that we need to have an individual solution (un-aliving) to a collective problem.”
This is part of why we often see anxiety and depression symptomatology overlapping or appearing together—it’s difficult to categorize the mind, body, and spirit’s responses. When thinking about how to support your children if you notice warning signs for anxiety and depression, always consider or seek to better understand what the roots might be. Anxiety and depression, particularly now, cannot be ‘fixed’ if the system exacerbating or instigating them doesn’t change.
Feelings of hopelessness, for example, may not be best navigated with therapy alone. Engaging in the fight for the world we long for can be tremendous mental health care, beyond the medical system, complementing what it does have to offer. Maybe that looks like attending a protest together or contributing to value-aligned communities, alongside traditional mental health care if it feels supportive. The systems we’re taught to trust—which youth are encouraged to participate in as they grow up—such as education and career attainment or advancement, are faltering if not crumbling.
So how do we remind each other—and ourselves—what the point is amid so much unrest and uncertainty? We acknowledge that we must be in our experiences together. Healing doesn’t ever happen in isolation.
Equipped with this as our frame, let’s take a look at portraits of both anxiety and depression, alongside their warning signs.
A Portrait of Anxiety
Anxiety is typically characterized by excessive worry and fear, particularly about the future. It also presents as constant unease and overwhelm about everyday situations. These experiences, especially together, often interfere with or inhibit daily functioning.
Importantly, it’s completely normal to feel anxious during major life events or changes, such as exams, moving away from home for the first time, or social gatherings. Where extra care may be needed is when teens experience such fear of judgement or embarrassment that they avoid social situations or isolate themselves to dampen, eliminate, or control their feelings. Avoidance and isolation can lead to poor academic performance, declined confidence, and severe loneliness. Just as uncomfortable are the physiological experiences that often occur simultaneously: rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, sweating, trembling, stomachaches, restlessness, irritability, feeling on edge, and consistent anticipation of the worst possible outcomes.
Thinking about our leading frame, let’s say a teen is experiencing social anxiety, and unusually distances themselves from all social gatherings with friends. It’s important to consider if this is something that your child could address through therapy or therapy-adjacent support. For example, maybe they’re feeling so anxious that they’re unable to connect with their closest friends since kindergarten. With care and tools to work through unconscious thought patterns or distorted thinking, perhaps their stress can be eased and alleviated by working with a mental health care provider. But maybe there’s more to the story. Maybe they’re feeling anxious because they’re being bullied in gym class; they identify as non-binary and recently tried a binder for the first time. This isn’t a mindset or emotion that they can be changed or reshaped through therapy. A therapist may be able to support them by validating and holding space for the impact and trauma of the bullying. But the change that needs to happen is a structural and community one. Acknowledging this with your teen is vital in helping them know that their response (anxiety) or thinking isn’t flawed—it's not their fault—and that they are seen.
A Portrait of Depression
Depression is typically characterized by prolonged periods of sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in what was once enjoyable.
Temporary sadness, usually linked to specific occurrences or events, is completely normal. In the case of grief, for example, it can often be prolonged. Depression looks a bit different—athough a cause or initiator often presents itself when understood more deeply, depression is persistent seemingly without a cause, and significantly alters how someone thinks, feels, and functions day-to-day. Because of this persistence, there is an increased risk of self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
Withdrawal from friends, family, and activities is a key feature. Difficulty concentrating can also impact academic performance. Insomnia, increased or decreased appetite, fatigue/lethargy, sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, lack of motivation, feelings of emptiness, and occasionally guilt are also common.
Similar to anxiety, let’s look at an example. You notice that your teen is exhibiting many of the above symptoms, which started when they began staying up late on weeknights with their phone, sleeping as little as 4-5 hours per night. It’s possible that time management, intentionality, and self-discipline might help with screen time regulation. But this might not be the full picture. During the day, your teen is likely hyper-connected to information streams—be it the news, community, organizing, or learning tools. They see both the best and worst of social media and news coverage all day. They’re informed, connected, and sharing what they’re learning—more so, perhaps, than any other generation of young people before them. But this takes a toll. It’s a lot to hold and bear witness to 24/7. So at night, to escape the only way they know how, they try to regulate their nervous system by watching comforting videos on YouTube and TikTok, even if they’re exhausted. How this dynamic is appreciated and respected is important, especially when discussing what can be changed on an individual level and what can’t be.
The Full Picture
It’s deeply true that experiences of anxiety and depression continue to climb at devastating and alarming rates. To address it, mental health care support can be explored beyond the medical system. Therapy, though an incredibly supportive resource for many, is not the only care option—nor is it the most accessible, particularly as it exists in the Medical and Mental Health Industrial Complex. We looked at portraits of anxiety and depression—a painting takes layers upon layers of paint and drying-time. These layers are the brushstrokes of many types of brushes, some of which we don’t necessarily control.
One important brush to examine, of course, is your own. What ways might you be upholding harmful language, frameworks, or messaging? How are you being harmed in similar ways that lead you to repeat or replicate it? How can you attempt to break those connections or cycles, and try something new alongside your teen?
Youth are living unprecedented lives in many ways, so support for anxiety and depression can be found in unprecedented places. Online, there are many traditional mental health care databases and options. Below are a few examples of organizations approaching mental health care that encourage and empower teens to gain support by being a part of changing systems/narratives that harm them. Several also include ways for parents to support their child’s mental health and healing journey:
● AFSP
● Baton Rouge Crisis Intervention Center
● 988
● VIA LINK
● Local public libraries, which offer more than just books!
● Recreation Centres, which offer more than just sports!
